Writing can be a very helpful way to clarify your thoughts and more clearly identify your feelings. As you write, your thinking often tends to become more focused, accurate, and purposeful. Your feelings often tend to become more clearly defined and nuanced.

The most fruitful kind of writing as a Christian is writing that puts one into a deeper dependency upon God, more open to God emotionally and spiritually. Writing to God immediately puts life into proper perspective before the sovereign of the universe and puts human actions and reactions in the context of a holy and loving God.

How to do it:

1. Write a letter to God. Begin where you are. Using a feelings sheet, begin writing all of the feelings that you have and what they are about. Do not edit, just write. Do not be concerned about if your thoughts and feelings are contradictory. Feelings often are contradictory especially as you are beginning to identify them.
2. Gradually move into talking to God about him, what you know about him, and what you know of his word. As it seems appropriate, write his words back to him. Ask him to search you, convict you of sin, soften your heart, and open your eyes. As appropriate, confess your sin and receive his forgiveness, love, and grace.
3. Write out your thanks and your expressions of surrender to his love, his life, yielding to his grace. Commit yourself to allowing his spirit to work in you.

1. Valuing anyone (Wanting their approval/praise or wanting relationship with them)
2. Or fearing anyone (their disapproval or loss of relationship with them)
3. Valuing anything people give or respond to (material or intagible—reputation, position, prestige, power)
4. Our fearing anything (loss of reputation, embarrassment, helplessness, or even death)
5. More than obeying and loving God with one’s heart, soul, and strength and serving others in love in the strength of God’s grace

Biblically “fear” may defined as putting one’s trust in, depending on, holding in awe, needing, or being controlled by something or someone. Common manifestations of what the Bible calls the Fear of Man include—peer pressure, people-pleasing, passivity, low self-esteem, being over-committed, neediness, indecisiveness, self-consciousness, lying, jealousy, anger, depression, shyness, withdrawing, competitiveness.

1. We are afraid of people because they can expose and humiliate us (shame-fear)
2. We are afraid of people because they can reject, ridicule, or despise us (rejection-fear)
3. We are afraid of people because they can attack, oppress, or threaten us (threat-fear)

These three forms have one thing in common: they see people as “bigger” (that is, more powerful and significant) than God, and, out of the fear that creates in us, we give other people the power and right to tell us what to feel, think, and do.

1. In column 1 describe how the three forms of the Fear of Man (shame, rejection, threat) manifest themselves in your life and relationships. For each specific manifestation write what you probably say to yourself when you are in the midst of the fear.
2. In column 2 take the specific manifestations identified in Column 1 one by one and identify what kind of Fear of Man each is. Also for each, describe what our goals are / what you are trying to get or avoid by doing the behavior.
3. In column 3 describe events in your past where people have sinned against you and possibly intensified your Fear of Man.
4. Column 4. What does God’s word say about your fears and your goals in column 2? What does God’s word say about what he is calling you to do instead of the behaviors in column 1? Remember to quote specific scriptures in your answers.

Write a prayer of confession and faith about what God is showing you in this exercise.